Medical Parent · Out of the Mouth of Babes · Professional Life of a Parent · Yellow Brick Road

Have you seen her?

A decade ago, is the last time I saw my original daughter. On this day, she had wrangled my husband into going puddle jumping because March of 2009 was a warm month and it was rubber boots and umbrella time.

Her brother had an ear infection and a cold which seem to have been a constant issues in his life back then until we discovered that he was intolerant to milk and then it all stopped.

It was the last time, that I saw that little girl that couldn’t see over the grocery cart and still insisted on pushing it. It was the last time I saw the little girl that told me off – No, I can do this – when I tried to help her.  It was the last time, she insisted on changing her brother’s diaper or feeding. It’s the little girl that no one ever talks about.

I love my daughter and everything she’s accomplished but I sometimes find myself dreaming about my first daughter who’s life was suddenly interrupted by acute necrotizing encephalopathy.


Hugs your children everyday xxox



Dark Side of the Moon · Yellow Brick Road

There’s no shame. Suicide shouldn’t be seen as shameful.

Today marks, the 4th year, that my Dad left us.

06122007 - Mom and Dad's picture

Here’s what was and is difficult to talk about. My father died by suicide. He’s one of the increasing statistic for man in their 70’s that are affected by mental illness.

There’s no shame. There is no shame in suicide. There no shame in having a disease. And  it’s not a selfish act if anything it’s a selfless act. An act of all giving in love and spirit loss. Our body and mind are design and created to live. Humans are resilient even in our weakest moments, I’ve witnessed this time and time again with my own child, with cancer survivors, with other children with rare disease or brain injuries, stroke & heart attack survivors.

It’s a difficult topic to discuss because it has never been properly scientifically explored. We don’t understand the brain nor our spirit. Why some individual can be so overcome that suicide overtakes them, we may never know. The truth is genetically my family is predisposed to mental illness, when I trace my family tree into difference branch, I see mental illness in almost all corners. Yet, we never spoke of it unless suicide overtakes them then we are shocked.  Most of the time, in hindsight, we can see the signs.  However, is there really a way to normalized suicide? Is there be a fear that if it’s too normal that we will see an increase? How do we teach mental health to our younger generations?

I remember on my return at work when a close friend came by my cubicle, I whispered “He committed suicide” and how instantly her eyes filled with tears from the shock and sorrow of the situation.  Personally, I believe at one point in our lives, we’ve all came across a suicidal thoughts however vague and unformed, it was.  Our spirit sometimes get discourage and then we springboard back to the top, happy to leave behind that incident.

When I’ve discussed it with my siblings, we all agree that the brain injury/concussion that he sustained in 2010 on a vacation in Sweden is more than likely the root cause. I remember him saying that his brain wasn’t working the same and when I asked how, he wasn’t able to say exactly how it wasn’t.

Here’s what I know for sure, my Dad, loved us all. He loved us even when we were hard to love. He loved life and his grandchildren. He was compassionate and he was my corner stone even more so when my daughter was in the hospital.  He was my son’s best friend. There’s not  a week that goes by that his names isn’t spoken in our home. My son is still sad that he has no more grandfather to confide in and to play with.

My Dad thought me the love of land and respect of animals as a dairy farmer, even though I’m sure it was a tough life one that he clearly said he didn’t want for his children.

He was my genealogy investigator partner for over 25 years, we did that together as a shared hobby.  He was passionate about finding relatives, cemetery hunting past ancestors and new connection. He was warm, kind and willing to offer his help however he was fiercely passionate in defending his pride, land and family.

We love Dad and we will always love him.

Please seek help if you need mental health support.

Finding my space and time · Medical Parent · Professional Life of a Parent · Yellow Brick Road

Self-care & Self-love – Are they related?

received_10155628889415589As a Mom, I struggle with self-love. I’m not talking about accepting your quirks, your size, your wrinkles, your stretch marks.  That body and mental love is all good and well but do you love yourself enough to discipline yourself into taking better care of yourself.

Self-Love is self-discipline for busy individuals. It’s about taking the time to relax and unwind so you are not breathlessly moving into the next step of your day until all the days blurs and you can’t distinguish, yesterday from a month ago.

Self-love is or can be about the following:

– Setting a consistent wake up time, that allows you a unhurried morning. Where you can have your cup of tea, coffee or juice and slowly gather your senses together.

– not eating the foods that make your body feel upset or that you know will aggravate your anxiety (this for me is caffeine and wine – very unfortunate)

– meal planning is amazing since you are able to cook meals without obsessing about what you are eating next.

– stepping away from toxic gossipy conversation especially if they make you feel uncomfortable and guilty.


– getting to bed at a regular time.

– being creative every single day and in different ways.

I hope that you will take this to apply to yourself as your own self-love to show yourself that you really care about yourself.

Finding my space and time · Good Side of Life · Yellow Brick Road


How often do you pick up the phone and the person you call say I’ve just been thinking about you? Or you are out and you bump into the person that you were just thinking about.   For me, it happens ALL the time, my synchronicity is off the charts, ask any of my friends.  However, here’s the thing, how do I leverage synchronicity? I’m assuming this is link to my intuition. Time will definitely tell me how to best us this tool of mine.


Tell me your stories about synchronicity.


Dark Side of the Moon · Finding my space and time · Medical Parent · Mental Health · Yellow Brick Road

Stress Relief

Your child woke up at 3:00 am, you spent the next two hours getting back to sleep only to have your alarm wake you up half hour later and so your day begins.

You make lunches, do some morning stretching, meditations but still you are unsettle and worst, you have the sleep hangover headache from hell.

You hit all the red lights at work, you get cut off but somehow you manage to make it to work in one piece and on time, that is until you realized you left your work bag hence your laptop at home.

How many of you are nodding?!  Right, stress our lovely unwanted friend. Here are some tips to help you along.


Photo from: Mindfulness Ireland

What else can you add for your own personal enjoyment and destressing? I’d add listen to an audiobook, look at photographs of your loved ones or listen to a 10 minute guided meditation on your favourite app.

Have a stress-free day!